Natural Birth Control

Once I started really understanding the impact that chemicals have on our bodies and lives I began looking everywhere for ways to simplify and eliminate unnecessary toxins.  One thing I was still doing was popping a daily hormonal birth control pill and it wasn't something I was entirely comfortable with, but where to go from there? 

Enter: the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM).

FAM is a form of Natural Family Planning which relies on your body's natural cues to determine fertile periods.  This method can be utilized to prevent or achieve pregnancy.

I first started using FAM over 2 years ago for the purpose of trying to conceive.  It took 10 cycles for me to get pregnant (I was charting for 7 of them) and during that time FAM gave me insight into my body that I wouldn't have otherwise had.  I also knew the exact date of conception, which is good because it can prevent worries or early inductions associated with the faulty conception calculations of a health care provider.

I recently began practicing FAM again, but this time for purposes of avoiding pregnancy. 

Prior to trying to conceive our first baby I was on birth control pills.  I was on them for quite a long time and I'm convinced that our (relatively short) delay in conception was due to the amount of time it took my body to begin properly regulating itself after cessation of hormonal birth control. 

After Jack was born, I went back on birth control pills because I had a newborn and another baby wasn't even slightly on my radar.  Because of a number of factors, birth control pills seemed the best option at the time.

Nearly a year later, which brings us up to current day, I'm ready to take back control of my body.

Why?

Well, I'm lucky in that I have never had any overtly negative reactions to hormonal birth control methods unlike a lot of other ladies.  However, I don't love the idea of taking a medication which controls a process which my body should be doing on it's own.  The effectiveness of hormonal birth control lies in stopping your reproductive system from proper functioning in order to prevent pregnancy.  It changes the way your body functions all month in order to block conception in the 12-24 hour window during which a woman is actually fertile. 

Not to mention, there are some scary potential side effects associated with hormonal birth control such as headaches, nausea and vomiting, change in sex drive, weight gain, stroke, liver damage, depression, blood clots, heart attack, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and allergic reaction.  It can also mask symptoms of problems such as thyroid disorders or polysystic ovarian syndrome.  No thank you, I say! 

When practiced properly FAM is just as effective as hormonal birth control in preventing pregnancy.  However, "just as effective" is kind of a loaded statement because this method of family planning takes a lot of personal responsibility and dedication and more effort than remembering to take a pill.  If FAM fails it's most likely going to be caused by human error, not a problem with the method itself. 

How do you practice FAM?

Take your temperature every morning before doing anything else.  Every morning I take my temperature orally using a basal body thermometer (BBT).  I use a digital version and it looks just like a regular digital fever thermometer, but it's different in that it's ultra sensitive and designed to precisely record your body's resting temperature. 

When I was practicing FAM Before Baby I would just take my temp when my alarm went off in the morning before work.  Since Jack is often my alarm clock now, my waking time can vary a bit day to day and it's important that you take your temperature at the same time every day so Mark wakes me up when his alarm goes off and tells me that it's time to take my temperature.

Throughout a woman's cycle her basal body temperatures fluctuate depending on the level and type of hormones present at any given time.  Your BBT will indicate ovulation as well as impending menstruation.

Chart your temperatures.  There are a few ways to do this.  There are paper and pencil versions, paid online software, or several free online options.  Personally, I like to use FertilityFriend.  It is definitely designed for purposes of trying to conceive, but you can still use it to avoid pregnancy if you just ignore all of their pregnancy advice :) 

Observe and record cervical fluid.  A quick check throughout the day and note it on your chart.  Like BBT a woman's cervical fluid changes throughout her cycle and indicates impending ovulation and menstruation.

Some women also like to observe and record changes in cervical position, but I've never done this myself.

So that's my crash course on the FAM.  If you're interested in learning more about it I highly recommend reading Toni Weschler's Taking Charge of Your Fertility.  I think this should be required reading for every woman regardless of desire to get pregnant or your method of birth control.  I really can't recommend it highly enough!

I want women to know that there are options that exist other than hormonal birth control and barrier methods.  FAM is not the right choice for everyone, but it is an option worth considering.

Have you ever utilized FAM or any other form of natural family planning to prevent or achieve pregnancy?  What was your experience?  Or, is FAM something you would like to try?

Jack's Birth Story (Part 2)

As soon as we were settled into our new room another nurse came in to give me an IV. At that time I was given a dose of Nubain at my request for the pain. It was glorious for me. Kicked right in and relieved the pain while making me feel nice and out of it.

Around 2AM the anesthesiologist came in to give me my epidural. Due to a recently changed hospital policy the support person is no longer allowed in the room when the epidural is given. So my husband left the room and ran down to the car to grab a few things. I was still nice and relaxed from my dose of drugs earlier so I had no problems getting the epidural. Well, except when he put something in my back and said "you may feel a shooting pain down your leg. Try not to move". Right after he said that I had the shooting pain - which wasn't really a pain per say, it was more like an electric zing, almost like when the doctor hits your knee to check your reflex - there was no way I could hold still. My leg pretty much involuntarily jumped! I guess that knocked the epidural catheter out of place and they had to redo it. I didn't have the pain the second time so all was supposed to be well.

Right after I was situated back on the bed the baby's heart rate started to drop. So I was pushed over onto my side and an oxygen mask was put on my face. A bunch of people rushed into the room and things got very scary. Someone went out to get my husband and in the meantime the baby's heart rate went back up - thank goodness! According to someone who was talking to me - I don't remember who... - the baby's heart rate dropped because he couldn't tolerate the Nubain.

After that I thought we were on our way to pain free goodness. Not quite. The Nubain wore off and I realized that the epidural had only affected my right side and not very well at that. To top things off they would only let me lay on my left side because anytime I shifted the baby's heart rate dropped. The pain was terrible because it was so concentrated and I was getting sore from laying in one spot for so long. I was miserable.

The anesthesiologist came back in during the 4 o'clock hour to try re-dosing my epidural through the same catheter. It didn't work. Around 5am we decided with my nurse that they would try to completely redo the epidural, but we were no longer the only people there. Apparently there were now about 7 women in labor on the floor and I was now third in line for an epidural. So I suffered, unable to move.

Around 6.30am the anesthesiologist came back to re-do my epidural. Let me tell you, getting it a second time was HELL. At that point I was in pain and I was already hooked up to tons of wires and tubes and I had a catheter in, all of which I could feel and I had to sit just so and hold perfectly still in order for the doctor to do his job. It was terrible. The only thing that got me through it was telling myself that I would be able to relax afterwards. At the same time I was begging the universe for this to work!

A little after 7am the second epidural seemed to take well. I was finally able to relax some so my husband decided to quickly run home (about 10 mins away) to let our dog out. It was decided that the epidural had slowed down my labor (of course) so they hooked me up to Pitocin (of course). Shortly thereafter the nurse came rushing in to roll me to my left side again and hook me back up to oxygen because the baby's heart rate had dropped again. Several doctors rushed in to the room while I tried to remain calm and at some point I was given a shot of something to stop my labor completely. Thank goodness that worked and the baby's heart rate came back up again. It was determined that the baby wasn't tolerating labor well. My contractions were really strong and my uterus wasn't relaxing in between giving him a chance to rest. They didn't say that it was the Pitocin that caused it, but that's my guess.

Mark got back around 8am and felt bad about missing the action again. I'm glad he wasn't there, it was scary. At that point they checked me again and I was at 6 cms dilated, 100% effaced and baby's head was at a zero station.

All was well for a little bit, then around 11am I started to feel a lot of really uncomfortable pressure. They were still keeping me laying on one side which didn't help at all. The pressure than progressed to pressure and pain combined. They said there was nothing they could do for what I was feeling and I was only about 7 cms dilated. Every time I had a contraction I could feel it, so around that time I began having to breathe through every contraction. So much for my epidural. They had me back on the Pitocin and had increased the amount at some point so my contractions were literally one minute long coming every other minute and sometimes back to back. I controlled the pain with breathing forever, but eventually it was just too much to control, not to mention I wasn't allowed to move (even though I could, freely because the stupid epidural didn't work!). I was miserable and there wasn't anything I could do about it.

Around 1pm I was dilated to 8 cms and by late afternoon I was still there, no progress made. My nurse-midwife came to check me around 5pm and at that point she told me that she recommended a c-section. The baby wasn't doing well, I wasn't doing well, and despite the fact that I had been on 2 antibiotics all day my temperature was going up because my water had been broken for so long and they thought I might be getting an infection. (Something I forgot to note - when they broke my water early in the morning they saw some meconium so they started me on some sort of saline something to flush out my uterus as well as 2 types of antibiotics. At this point I also lost hope that I would be able to hold the baby immediately after delivery or put him skin to skin. This was my first loss of the day.)

I asked a lot of questions about our options and ultimately decided to go ahead with the c-section based upon our situation. I was pretty upset. This was exactly what I had hoped to avoid for so many reasons, but it seemed like the best and safest option for us at that point. Once the decision was made everything went very quickly. My primary OB/GYN came in to discuss with us what would happen and I signed some forms. Mark was given some scrubs to put on and I was wheeled into the operating room.

I had to sit in pain again to be given a spinal block. After it was administered I was FINALLY pain free, but unfortunately I was now laying on an operating table with a blue curtain blocking my view of my lower half. It didn't matter because I had kept my eyes closed the entire time so as to try to remain calm. The operating room scared me. It was so clinical. I kept thinking that I had seen this happen so many times on baby shows and I never thought it would happen to me, but now it was. I tried to block everything from my mind but my soon to be born baby. Once Mark came in it helped me some and very shortly thereafter we had a baby!

Jack Michael was born at 6:01pm weighing in at 8 pounds, 2 ounces, and 20 inches in length. His little cries were the best thing I had heard in a long time and as soon as they brought him around the curtain I saw his cute little monkey feet wiggling at me! We got to snap a few pictures and they cleaned him up. There were no problems with his lungs as a result of the meconium or the c-section thank goodness and then he was whisked away for a mandatory hour to be warmed and checked and all that. This was the worst part, but at least Mark was able to go with him.

They brought him to me about an hour and a half later while I was recovering back in my labor room and I finally got to hold him. By 9pm we were settled into our postpartum room with our new baby and we were exhausted! We had been up for nearly 40 hours with no sleep. I was able to nurse and then we all went to sleep.

That first night I was up all night. I don't think I got more than an hour or two of sleep. I constantly had to be awake for something. I nursed Jack almost constantly and if I wasn't nursing then I was being checked by a nurse and they slowly started removing tubes and such from me. I know they did at least one blood draw that night and they kept bringing in oral medication for me to take. Also, I had these things on my legs that were like blood pressure cuffs. They went off probably every 10-15 minutes. Apparently they were to prevent blood clots. At 5am the nurse had me on my feet because I had to walk for a bit. The spinal block had worn off and it actually felt good to get up and move around. It had been over 24 hours since I had been able to.

I ended up staying in the hospital for 3 days and was released on Wednesday morning at my request. I think I slept a total of 5 or 6 hours the entire time we were there. We have been working on getting settled in to home life ever since!

Jack's Birth Story (Part 1)

The first contraction hit me right around 7pm on Saturday (Feb. 27th). I was 40 weeks, 6 days pregnant by my doctor's calculations. We had an induction scheduled for the following evening and were sure that this baby was never coming on his own so we had spent the day getting things done around the house in preparation for going to the hospital the next day.

The very first contraction was PAIN.FUL. In fact, I had no idea that it was a contraction because it did not feel anything like how they had been described to me. The baby had been sitting so low for so long that I had a lot of nerve pain the last few weeks so I figured it was just more of the same.

Of course as soon as I seemed to be in pain Mark was asking if it was a contraction because we had been waiting for the onset of labor for so long. I told him I didn't think so, but like so many times before we noted the time in case a pattern did establish.

About 20 minutes later I had another terrible pain. Again, did not feel like a contraction. I didn't feel my belly tighten, I didn't feel pain all over, all I felt was pain in my lower abdomen/pelvic region which is where all of my pain had been centered for the last several weeks. At that point I decided I would jump in the shower and maybe it would make me feel better.

I took a nice hot shower without incident and when I got out Mark asked me if I had any more pains. I told him no, the shower must have helped relax me. When I got back to my bedroom however I ended up doubled over the bed in pain again. I had spoken too soon. This was my third contraction, just as strong as the first two and they were still about 20 minutes apart.

I laid in bed while another contraction or two passed. I decided I'd call my doctor and see what they said. When the doctor on call contacted me back, I discussed with her what I was experiencing. She wasn't sure, but said it was likely contractions and I should head to the hospital if they got into a pattern where they were lasting a minute and coming every 5 minutes for an hour. When I got off the phone with the doctor I called my mom to tell here what I was experiencing. She said it didn't sound like any kind of contractions she had ever felt.

After my calls I ended up out in the family room on the couch and having a few more pains. At that point I was thinking they were contractions because of the frequency/pattern as well as the fact that I could feel them building, peak, and then going away. However, I was still concerned because they were so much stronger than I had expected and not like anything that had been described to me. There was no gradual building and I had never been able to talk through them. I was also worried that something might be wrong.

At this point the pains were coming every 10 to 15 minutes and it had only been a couple of hours. I went to the bathroom and as I was walking back out I was hit with another pain that landed me on the floor in a ball. I was to the point of not even being able to breathe through them let alone talk during the pain and I think a lot of that was because I didn't know if something was wrong or if I was really in labor. I still wasn't convinced.

I told Mark that I wanted to go to the hospital to have everything checked and find out for sure what was going on. He readily agreed so we gathered our bags which had been packed for weeks and headed out for the hospital around 10.30pm.

At the hospital I was sent to triage in Labor and Delivery where I put on a hospital gown and was hooked up to monitors which kept track of the baby's heartbeat and my contractions. As soon as they hooked me up to the monitor the nurse was able to confirm that I was in fact having contractions and they were happening frequently. We made a good decision to go to the hospital because in the 10 minutes it took us to get there my contractions started coming every 2 to 5 minutes. The nurse checked my cervix and said that I was 3 cm dilated and still 80% effaced.

After I was on the monitors for a while the nurse contacted my doctor who said they wanted me to walk around for an hour and then be rechecked. AN HOUR. Have I mentioned that the pain was really bad? Every time I had a contraction it felt like my pelvis was going to break. Ouch. But walk we did.

I think we were the only people there at the time. I shuffled around the halls while holding Mark's hand. Every couple of minutes I had to stop and grip the railing where I tried my hardest to relax and breathe through the contractions. Well, apparently my whine/breathe was kind of loud because after a half hour of these shenanigans the nurse came to us and said that I could stop now, they were convinced that I was in active labor and they wanted to admit me.

Around 1am Sunday morning (2/28) I shuffled over to my new room, which I hardly remember because I was in so much pain, and then things started to get crazy.

Waiting is the Hardest Part [40 weeks, 3 days]

Yes, Tom Petty you had it correct all along. Sadly, I'm just coming to realize that this is the hardest part of pregnancy - the very end. I'm still very pregnant and sick to boot. I'm in pain, gross things are happening with my body, and I'm so anxious to meet this child that I just can't stand it! Mostly, I just want him here so that I know for sure that all is well and he's healthy!

I've pretty much given up hope of going into labor on my own. I'm not sure WHY my body isn't getting the message that this is the end of the road and I'm certain that the baby is uncomfortable in my ute having outgrown his home, but still no contractions :(

At this point, I'm just looking forward to Sunday. I'm scheduled for a 2-step labor induction Sunday night. First, they insert a catheter into my cervix to force it to dilate (I'm sure this will be great...) and then, once I dilate to where they want me (I'm not yet sure what this is) they'll start me on the pitocin to force active labor.

This is not at all how I wanted my labor and delivery to go, but it's not really something I can control. As long as the baby gets here and he's healthy that's all that really matters in the end. I can deal with being strapped to a bed for 12+ hours with nothing but medical intervention if it yields a good outcome.

I keep reminding myself that there's still time. Maybe the baby is just faking us out and he'll wait to Saturday night or Sunday morning and then my labor will start. That would really be nice!

The odd thing is although I've been looking forward to meeting the baby for so long, I'm 3 days past my due date and the doctors gave every indication that I would probably not even make it to my due date in the first place, it has not yet registered that we will (probably) have our baby by Monday!

Today is Mark's last day of work before he's taking 2 weeks off to stay home with me and the baby. We have today and tomorrow and then we are off to the hospital to become parents! I don't know... maybe it's because it's just so clinical and not the way I had imagined or planned for. I'm not sure at what point it will sink in, but the good thing about my brain not realizing what's going on is that I'm not getting overly excited or anxious. It allows me to keep relaxed for the time being.

I can't believe that the baby won't be here until March! At least we'll have a couple more days to get over our colds.

Baby Watch 2010 - Update [40 weeks, 1 day]

I saw my doctor today at the appointment I swore last week I would not be at because certainly I would not be pregnant past my due date. Ha.

I'm STILL at 2 cms dilated, 80% effaced. Again I got the, "WOW! His head is so low" exclamation. Yeah, that's what you alllll say. That's what you've been saying for weeeeeks now and I'm well aware of how low he is, but why isn't he coming out?!

I requested that she sweep my membranes, which by the way was SUPER uncomfortable. I have read about this procedure quite a bit and I knew that I didn't want to attempt it until I had at least reached my due date. Well now is the time so hopefully we'll see some action! The doctor said that there's about a 50/50 chance of this working to jump start my labor. If it does work I should go into labor tonight or tomorrow at the latest. Right now, I am VERY sore and crampy. I really hope that this turns into something and I'm not uncomfortable for nothing.

Additionally, the big "I" was thrown out there. Yep, induction. According to my doctor they don't like you to go past 41 weeks gestation. If I don't go on my own by the end of this weekend I would need to be induced or go in on Monday for an ultrasound and a non-stress test (where they hook you up to monitors) to make sure that all is well with the baby. She also said that they would not let me go past 42 weeks for any reason. The good news is that she said my body is VERY ready to have this baby and she thinks that all I need is some contractions to get started and then labor should progress beautifully.

With that information we decided to tentatively schedule an induction for Sunday night (February 28th). I'm not 100% at peace with this decision, but on the other hand it makes me feel so much better emotionally to know that there is an end in sight. The doctor said that I can change my mind and cancel the induction. I'm just not sure what I want yet! I know that I really, REALLY want to go into labor naturally and have as few interventions as possible. On the other hand I'm so physically miserable right now and emotionally exhausted as well. If I don't go into labor on my own prior to Sunday evening is it even worth waiting another week if I end up having to be induced at 42 weeks instead of 41? THAT would be a huge disappointment!

I'm really just hoping that I go into labor on my own, the sooner the better! But ultimately, the important thing is that the baby comes out happy and healthy however that may be accomplished.

Also, want proof that the Universe hates me? Sunday night Mark came down with a nasty cold. We have both (especially him!) been so careful throughout this pregnancy about germs. We've both managed to avoid the seasonal flu, H1N1, all other sorts of nasty things that float around this time of year and now that the baby is supposed to be here any time Mark gets sick! So of course, last night I woke up with cold symptoms as well. That's right, I'm now terribly uncomfortable and in pain, past my due date, AND I have a cold that I can't take anything for because my baby won't come out!!! To say it's not fair is a bit of an understatement in my current opinion.

Happy Due Date to Me [40 weeks, 0 days]

Baby's still not here. I'm still uncomfortable. And we're still waiting. That's all the update I have. Really wish I had more...

Yesterday in the mail I received a letter from the hospital at which I'm planning to deliver (if the baby ever decides to make an arrival!!!) asking that I prepay for the stay that I've not yet had. To make the process smoother I can pay an estimated $800+ for my care and an estimated $300 for the baby's care. These are the estimated out of pocket expenses after the insurance company pays their portion. Gee, thanks so much for giving me this opportunity!

Do they think I have idiot tattooed on my forehead? I'm not prepaying for anything! A) I didn't get an itemized list of expenses, just a one page letter indicating that I should use the handy enclosed envelope (::eye roll::) to fork over nearly $1200 for a hospital stay and procedures I haven't even had yet! B) Estimated costs? You've GOT to be kidding me? I don't pay $1200 out of pocket on demand for estimated costs! I'll pay for services and procedures rendered once I know what they are and what I'm paying for. I'm not paying an estimate, I'll pay the bill once it's set in stone thank you very much.

I don't really blame the hospital. I'm sure that this is just the first communication in a long line of letters they plan to send to make sure that the patient balance is paid to them. I'm sure that in a lot of situations they will send lots and lots of letters before they see any money, if they ever do.

I'll go ahead and blame this one on the insurance company because the estimated $1200 is probably the 20% we are supposed to cover, however I'm also quite certain that that "estimate" will end up being way more out of pocket once the insurance company ends up picking through each and every procedure and pill given.

One thing that has been proven to me throughout this pregnancy is that 80/20 insurance is a myth. The insurance company just picks and chooses what to pay for and then we are responsible for all the rest. So glad we see an in-network provider. I'd hate to see out of pocket expenses for a non-approved provider. And I'll end there because I can rant about the state of medical insurance in this country for as long as there are people to listen.

Moral of the story? Sending a very uncomfortable, very pregnant woman who has officially passed her due date a letter asking that I pay for the birth of a baby that quite possibly may NEVER come out of my body is not a wise thing. Hospitals should note that they should hit people up for money once the baby is actually here and the people who are to be forking over the cash are in a sparkly state of falling in love with their newborn! It probably won't make people as angry!

Nesting? [39 weeks, 3 days]

Is it possible that I've kicked in to full on pre-labor nesting mode?

Today I have:

- changed bed sheets and made the bed
- emptied and re-loaded the dishwasher
- took out the trash and recycling
- declutted the kitchen table
- wiped down the counters
- cleaned dog slobber off the front windows
- dusted (for the 2nd time this week)
- vacuumed

Now, I'm thinking positive thoughts and hoping this means labor is impending. I AM feeling more energized and motivated than usual, but this may also have to do with the fact that I had my first good night of sleep last night in like 3 weeks and the sun is actually shining outside for the first time in about a month. We'll see.

No News. [39 weeks, 1 day]

Just got home from the doctor and basically I have made zero progress since last week. I really wanted to hear that I had made some progress, but I also know that my cervix isn't a great indicator of when I'll go into labor. So we're still at "it could happen any time" and we're in full on (annoying) waiting mode.

They did say that my blood pressure was slightly elevated. This is the first time that it hasn't been at a totally normal level so lucky me, I got to pee in a cup and give blood. It was a super fun appointment. ::shakes head no::

The doctor suggested that I take time to rest more. I advised her that all I do is rest. Lordy! I hardly get out of bed anymore because I'm so uncomfortable! And you know what? I'm not going to rest. I'm going to clean my house because it's an absolute wreck because I have been resting. So there!

::Kicks Snow:: [39 weeks, 0 days]

Stupid weather. Due to the 20 feet of snow that has been accumulating outside since yesterday morning my doctor's office is closed today. So... I will not be going to the doctor and I will not be told that I'm making progress. I'm going to have to spend another day just guessing at what is, or isn't, going on.

I just want to know that something is happening. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!?!?!?

I think not.

*sigh*

We did make time to meet with the baby's pediatrician-to-be today. It's the same practice that I went to as a child (not this doctor though) and my niece and brother see this doctor, and the office is only about 5 or 10 minutes from our house, so we pretty much knew that this is where we'd end up. We got all of our questions answered and are all ready to go now.

Just waiting for the baby to come out... Any time would be good... Any time.

Permanently Preggers [38 weeks, 6 days]

I think I might just end up as the first woman ever to be permanently pregnant. At this point, I'm thinking it's a distinct possibility that this kid will be graduating college from my ute.

Yes, yes, I know I haven't even technically reached my due date yet, but this kid has been sitting low since THIRTY-ONE WEEKS! I have been dealing with terrible pelvic pain that has just gotten worse for the last 8 weeks. Last week, the news was that the baby's head was sitting right on my cervix and that I was progressing nicely. How have I made it another week without going into labor?! I feel like he's done cooking already!

I was supposed to have a doctors appointment today for the usual as well as a cervix check, but due to the inclement weather I rescheduled it for tomorrow afternoon. I'm desperately hoping that the doctor has good news for me. Good news being that I'm in labor.

Anyway, I don't know what the deal is, but apparently I have reached an emotional state in which no amount of rationale will comfort me. I honestly feel like this baby is never going to come out and I'm going to be pregnant forever. Intellectually, I know that the baby will come when he is ready, my body will know what to do, and I will be fully aware of labor when it finally happens. However, my crazy, 39-week pregnant, uncomfortable self just can't actually accept this rational knowledge and I have reached a new level of anxiety ridden impatience!

I want the baby to come out now zammit!

I need cookies...

Baby Watch 2010 - Update [37 weeks, 6 days]

Just got home from the doctor. She checked my cervix today - I won't go into detail but it was NOT fun. Trust. - She said I'm 2 cm dilated and 80% effaced (non-baby speak translation = my cervix is really thin so it should dilate soon and easily). What made me even more excited was this statement, "the baby's head is not going to get any lower until you're actually pushing him out"! She said he has dropped REALLY low and his head is right up against my cervix. I'm hoping this bodes well for a quick labor and delivery since he won't really have to drop down into my pelvis - he's already there! No wonder I'm in such pain including, but not limited to: ongoing pelvic, lower back, and hip pain, as well as terrible sharp stabbity pains that feel like they're actually in my vag.

Yes, I recognize that the above is probably TMI, but really I'm preparing to push a human from my body which is just unnecessary in and of itself ;)

I keep telling him to "swim down" and I guess he has listened. Since it doesn't sound like he can swim down any further I'm going to have to think of a new vibe to send him... I guess it's now just a matter of my water breaking and/or labor hormones kicking in!

Something interesting to note: Doctor's don't fully understand what actually triggers the onset of labor. Theories are as follows:

•The physical aging of the placenta may cause insufficient nutrients to reach the fetus.

•The uterus reaches a crucial point of distension, which may cause tension on muscle fibers and stimulate their activity.

•Nerve impulses from the uterus to the posterior pituitary gland may bring about release of oxytocin (a hormone which causes the uterus to contract).

•Decrease in the level of the hormone pregesterone, may cause uterine changes.

•Adrenal glands of the fetus, when mature, may release a substance to stimulate labor.

•The release of prostaglandin from the wall of the uterus may initiate labor.

(from SutterHealth)

Pregnancy Positives

I've had a lot of pregnancy gripes. Trust me, I'm sure my husband could make a list an arm's length long of all my complaints about aches and pains and obnoxious things like heartburn. He's been great about hearing me out and providing comfort when necessary.

So here's a side that I don't feel I've given enough credit to: the positive side of pregnancy. There are plenty of good that goes with the bad.

1) I can wear elastic pants every day and no one can judge me! I certainly don't miss pants with pesky zippers and buttons which can dig into your tummy on a bloated day. I like maternity pants! It's kind of like wearing your PJ pants to work everyday. It's Saturday morning on the top, but mid-week business on the bottom. Best of both worlds and comfy! I'm not going to lie, I will be sad once I have to go back to things with a real waist.

2) There are no more "fat" days. It's alllll out there for everyone to see! There's no hiding this great big belly that's positioned right on the front of my body! So, I don't put on an outfit and go, "Oh, this makes me look fat, I should change my shirt", or "this is a little tight, it makes my tummy look flabby". No sir, I'm round and I like it! Sure I might not feel sexy anymore with my 10 pounds of tummy, but I do feel cute everyday and that's not for nothing! Everything makes me look round because I AM round, but at least it's with a purpose! And for once, I'm totally happy with how my body looks. Added bonus, the giant tummy makes my hips and tush look smaller ; )

3) I love all the little kicks and movement I feel. Sure it can get a little annoying when you're sitting at your desk trying to focus on something and the baby is kicking you in the ribs hard enough to make you give a small gasp or when you're so exhausted after a long day and you just want to relax, but 99% of the time the movement and kicks I can feel are awesome! I love knowing that the baby is healthy in there and him moving lets me know it!

4) It's a little selfish, but I love that it's just me and the baby right now. Don't get me wrong, I CAN'T wait for Mark and the rest of the family to *finally* be able to meet the baby and fall in love with him and build strong bonds, but there is a part of me that loves that right now, I'm all my baby knows. I'm the only one with a true connection to him right now and it's a very special time. I feel like after being part of me for so long he will surely come out and know just who I am! I just hope he likes who he gets!

and 5) This is a super exciting time for Mark and I and I'm really enjoying it! All of the planning and excitement and talking about when the baby is here is so much fun. It's been so exciting to go back and forth over names and how to decorate the nursery and imagine what our baby will be like once he's here. It's a special thing that my husband and I get to share even before the baby makes his entrance into the world. All of the planning and time that we've spent on all things baby will really pay off, I just know it!

I have been extremely lucky in that I have had a very healthy pregnancy. I was pretty sick at the very beginning, but by the second trimester all that was behind me. My weight and blood pressure has been right on track. I haven't had any scary problems like gestational diabetes. I have been in some considerable discomfort/pain for the last few weeks, but honestly, I'll take it since both the baby and I have been so healthy for the last 9 months.

I certainly will not miss the bad/annoying/uncomfortable aspects of pregnancy, but there are some things that I will miss. At this point, I'm just ready to meet this kid face to face!

36 Weeks, 3 Days

A New Level of Pregnancy Hell

Weight gain? Meh, that'd probably happen anyway over the Winter. Stretch marks? I don't usually make a habit of showing people my tummy. Limited mobility? Who wants to be able to pick something up off the ground anyway? Heartburn? Terrible, BUT I can manage with my now ever present Tums. Pelvic pain for the last 5 weeks? That's beginning to stretch my limit, but I enjoy laying down as much as possible these days regardless.

However, something that does cross the line and is completely unacceptable in my book: insomnia. THIS is NOT okay.

I have read about late pregnancy insomnia. I figured there was NO WAY this would affect me as I have always been a champion sleeper. I sleep and I sleep heavy. I can sleep through my alarm going off in the morning right by my head. I can sleep through Mark getting out of bed, showering, getting dressed and being completely ready to leave for work. I can sleep through our HOUSE alarm going off! I'm a seriously heavy, deep sleeper and I really enjoy that sleep.

Now, I wouldn't say that I'm experiencing extreme insomnia, but sleep issues of any kind are foreign to me. Not to mention, I'm already exhausted all the time! I really need my sleep here! However, my body seems to feel otherwise. For the last week or so I've begun the fun practice of only sleeping for short periods of time.

I sleep for an hour and then I have to get up and pee for the billionth time. I get back in bed, struggle to get comfortable and then sleep for another hour, then I'm up and needing to flip over because my hips are hurting from laying on my side. Flipping over doesn't just involve a brief motion like it used to. Nooooo. It involves me having to lift myself up off my tummy if I want to go that way, or if I want to chance the longer way and roll to my back first it involves lots of groaning because as I shift around my hips and pelvis get hit with sharp pains. THEN I have to drag my body pillow over to the other side (which by the way, the body pillow is pretty much the best thing in the whole world right now) and get that all positioned without accidentally smacking Mark in the head with it or smothering him in the process. By the time I'm situated I'm fully awake, kind of have to pee again, and Mark is also up from all my groaning and moving and such. I repeat this process probably every hour or two now. It doesn't make for a sound night's sleep and it's not something that's appreciated in the least.

I have decided that the last few weeks of pregnancy are biologically formulated to be so uncomfortable that by the time your body is ready for labor you want to actively participate in getting this relatively large parasite OUT of your body. Further, once the baby is back home your body is already used to having to get up every 2 hours so you'll be all ready for those night feedings! I can vouch for the fact that this little trick is mighty effective.

In happier news our baby shower is this Sunday! I'm so excited!

Birthing Class = CHECK!

Whew! I'm glad we got that out of the way! We spent nearly 7 hours today taking a general labor and birth class at Mount Carmel. The instructor went through just about everything one needs to know about the labor and birth process.

The class was pretty interesting and definitely not boring. I can't say I really learned anything new, but it was reassuring to know that I already know what I need to know. Does that even make sense? I hope you understand what I'm getting at. I think Mark learned a few things and probably feels a little bit more comfortable with what to expect and that sort of thing. The instructor did give the support people a lot of hints, which pretty much were along the lines of stay out of a laboring mother's face and don't take snippyness or criticism personally. Really though, I think it was a good thing for the guys to hear about the process and what the mothers are going to be experiencing.

Something that was of interest to me was the information discussed about non-medicated birth. I've read a lot about medications for labor as well as techniques to help a non-medicated labor and birth. I'm still not quite certain what I'm planning to do. Honestly it depends on the day and sometimes the minute. What will likely happen is I'll just play it by ear and put off medication as long as possible to allow my labor to progress naturally for as long as possible, but I seriously doubt I'm going to be able to go without an epidural. It's just such an unknown experience to me and knowing that the option is right there, all I have to do is ask, is going to be very hard to ignore.

The instructor gave information on various labor positions and we got a chance to try a birthing ball, which I really liked. I scare Mark though because he thinks that my unbalanced, klutzy self is going to fall off, which is very likely. He'll have to spot me while I'm on it. For my labor I'll probably utilize the birthing ball, (hopefully, if we can get a room with it) jacuzzi, and massage courtesy of Mark. Massage was also something we practiced today. She provided us with one of those little massage thingers and we'll definitely need a couple of these to save Mark's hands! Looks like this:

We also discussed and practiced some breathing techniques to help us to relax and focus through the contractions. I'm not sure if it'll be helpful or not during labor, but between a full tummy, back massage, and slow breathing I was ready for a nap during class!

Now, we just have to find a pediatrician and have the shower(s) and then Jack is welcome to come at any time!

Hospital Tour - Check!

Monday evening, at 8PM... in the cold... when I was tired... while the snow was coming down... and it was icy out... I digress, Mark and I took a tour of the St. Ann's Labor and Delivery unit. I don't know exactly what I was expecting, but I wasn't super overly impressed. It's a very nice hospital, but I wouldn't say it's any nicer than Riverside. Maybe I've just heard so much hype about St. Ann's I was expecting a magical place. ::shrug::

The unit is very nice and everything is new and shiny. The labor rooms have all the modern comforts including interwebz access and ESPN on the television, as well as a 24 hour Tim Horton's for Mark's iced cappuccino needs. The post-partum rooms are a little small, but not unusually so and definitely nice. Security seems good and the staff seems nice.

I've heard this is the hospital to deliver at if you want any sort of "alternative" birth. I'm not sure yet exactly what I'm going to do about medication, but I like the idea that the hospital embraces other options besides walk in and get an epidural even if that's what I end up doing! They do have 3 labor and delivery rooms equipped with jacuzzis that they like to reserve for moms trying to go the au natural route. That's a nifty extra.

We have decided this is where we're going to deliver. It's the closest hospital to us and it was very nice. And plus, I was born there. If a FAB person like me comes out of a place like that I'll go in hopes that the greatness rubs off on my baby ; )

Really, what sealed the deal for me was the fact that the R.N. hosting the tour kept talking about how they are changing things to adapt with new research. I LOVE that they aren't (or at least don't seem like they are) rigid about the way they do things in spite of new findings.

Something that was key for me - they don't immediately separate mom and baby following birth. Once baby squeezes out of mom's nether regions the baby is immediately (as long as all is well of course!) placed on mom's chest to warm up vs. being taken across the room to one of those little heater beds to be poked and prodded and that sort of thing.

They also said that they don't have to put the antibiotic goop in the baby's eyes or jab them with a needle for the Vitamin K shot immediately after birth. This is something else that I really liked. They said they are required by law to do it within the first hour post-partum, but it doesn't have to be right away. Poor baby! They have enough to deal with. They're being forcibly squeezed out of the only place they've known into a cold environment with strange people, bright lights, AND they have to breathe on their own all the sudden. Let's give them a break with the poking and prodding and shots, shall we? I'd like to give my baby a chance to nurse first.

Something else that was important to me - baby is allowed to transition with mom from L&D to post-partum and doesn't have to leave the mom's side AT ALL while in the hospital unless you want them to take the baby. This means the the nurse will come to your room to give the baby their first bath instead of whisking them away to the nursery post-birth.

Now, I don't judge anyone else for what they do with their kids including their preferences for birth, nor do I claim to be some expert - I've never even had a kid - BUT from the research I've done, it's very important to me to keep my baby with me and to have physical contact with him immediately after birth.

We did get to go by the nursery and see all the tiny (you know, the closer I get to my due date the bigger those newborns look! It's amazing how that happens.) newborns wrapped up like Chipotle burritos. That was exciting. In just a few weeks we will have our own little Chipotle burrito baby.

Speaking of having our own baby in a few weeks, I went on Monday for my now usual bi-weekly doctor visit. Blood pressure is good, weight is good, and then when the doctor measured my belly she says, "the baby is measuring a little bit big"! Whaa?! So, in 2 weeks when I go back for my next visit they are going to do an ultrasound to get a better idea of the baby's size and weight, but if they do find he's bigger than originally thought then the doctor says they might have to move up my due date a bit! THIS is an awesome and scary prospect all at the same time!

So, I'm very excitedly looking forward to this ultrasound. We weren't supposed to have another one, so this is a little unexpected. We haven't seen the baby since the sex ultrasound around week 20. I'm anxious to know what they find!

Productive Weekend

I confess, I played hooky from work on Friday. I had a super long week and I could go on with a long list of complaints, but what it really boils down to is the weather was nasty and I'm lazy. So... there you go.

I did use my extra free time to (well... sleep, but also) to schedule our hospital labor and delivery tour as well as a birthing class!

January 11th we are signed up to tour St. Ann's baby factory as I'm fairly certain this is where I'll deliver. I guess if I'm not wowed then I'll set up a time to go visit Riverside.

January 16th we are scheduled to take an all day "Express" Labor and Birth Class. From the website:

This class provides the basics of labor and birth preparation. Instruction focuses on essential information for mother and her birth partner, including what to expect during labor and birth, techniques for coping with labor discomforts, medications and epidurals, and medical interventions. Breathing, relaxation and comfort strategies are discussed, and written instruction are provided for at-home practice

I've gone back and forth about whether to take a class. I've read quite a bit about different birthing techniques and what to expect at the time of labor and delivery; I've also been present at 2 births, but at the end of the day I still don't really know what to expect for myself. Everyone is different and everyone's experience is going to be a little different. However, I decided that the more information and knowledge I can gather the better and someone else (::side eyes Mark::) doesn't really know what to expect at all. So I think this class will be good for us. I'm looking forward to it.

Mark spent all Saturday working on the nursery. He has the chair rail up and the holes patched so now I guess he's ready to do the final paint touch ups.

Today we made a trip to Michael's for some nursery decor (along with a 20% off your entire purchase coupon!) and bought a few baskets (at 60% off!), a few cute little decorative wooden animals that we happened to come across ($0.47 each, I couldn't pass them up, they're so darling!) as well as some wooden letters to paint that I want to hang above the crib. They didn't have any "J"s in stock so we ended up with "ACK" and some paint, but I Mark will check back later this week to see if they have any "J"s in yet. I'll hold off on the painting until I'm sure we can track down the last letter!

Then we stopped at Wal-mart to pick up the crib and changing table that we ordered and had shipped to the store. They're currently sitting in the garage in boxes just begging to be put together, but I don't think that's going to happen today. I am SO. EXCITED. to see them set up and in the nursery!

Health-wise all is well besides the fact that I feel like a baby walrus, have trouble rolling over, get tired walking back and forth to the bathroom and ache all over, but I think that just comes with the territory of the latter half of the third tri! Really though, I can't complain (even though I do... to Mark at least) I have, thankfully, had a very healthy pregnancy. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow for the usual weight, blood pressure, and belly growth check. I'm really sick of going, but at least every time I walk out of the office I feel confident that everything is going right on schedule.

In other news, I'm 99% sure that we've decided my last day of work is going to be the end of January. A couple of weeks ago at the time of my (glowing) performance review I broke the news to my manager that I'm not returning post-baby. She was obviously not thrilled at all about the announcement, but she took it as well as can be expected. She told me there might be periodic opportunities for some part-time work, which I told her to definitely contact me about, and she went on to say that when I'm ready to return to work to please call her first because they would love to have me back if at all possible.

She thanked me numerous times for giving her an early heads up and then said that for now, she's going to keep this between her and I so that I can contact HR for some additional information to see if I'm still entitled to maternity pay. (Side note: I emailed HR on December 28th and followed up with a voice mail on the 6th, and still haven't heard anything back. This ticks me off.) I think I'm going to have to forfeit my mat pay, especially since I'm now planning to leave a few weeks before the birth. I'm not too torn up about this. I'll miss the money for sure, but I REALLY will appreciate not having to get up and go to work for the last few weeks of my pregnancy!

33 Weeks, 3 Days

Still growing.

32 Weeks

I think Bean looks fully cooked, don't you? I'm sure that someone miscalculated and I'm actually going to have this kid any day now. This has to be because I'm certain that he weighs at least 15 pounds!

I saw my doctor yesterday and everything is good - weight, blood pressure, belly growth, baby's heartbeat all good. The only small concern that I had was related to the fact that I have had TERRIBLE pelvic pain for the last week. Yes, the last WEEK! When I'm sitting or laying down it's not so bad, but if I'm standing or walking it's pretty terrible. Sometimes it feels like Bean has a steel spike in there which he is playfully forcing into my bones. Other times it just feels like there's about 15 pounds of pressure in there forcing the bones apart. Either way, it's not a good feeling at all.

I was thinking that it might have to do with the baby's position and if he would just shift then everything would be alright again. Well, I was close, but I didn't quite get the answer I was looking for. Yes the pain will go away... just as soon as the baby is here! Which is supposed to be 8 weeks from now!!!

Apparently, the problem is this, your pelvis is actually two bones held together by some ligaments or tendons or something stretchy. When the baby becomes heavy and begins pressing down on your pelvis it can cause pain. It affects women to varying degrees. Apparently some people are just lucky and get to be in excruciating pain. The cure? Having the baby. The only way to get true relief is to lay down to take the pressure off your pelvis. Super.

So of course for the last week there's been lots of whining about my pelvic pain. And I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to get through the next 8 weeks!

In other news, I FINALLY was able to give Mark his Christmas gift! His very own Wii! I'm not sure who was more excited me to give or Mark to get. I told him I was NOT spending $200 on a game, but when I heard that Wal-mart had them for $150 I just couldn't pass it up. 25% off? I think so!

So I made not one, but TWO trips to two different locations and multiple calls to track down a location with a Wii. I think they were hoarding them because they could always tell me that they'd have X number in at 8am the next day, but I couldn't go at 8am I could only go later in the day!

After 1 trip on a SATURDAY (it was terrifying, see below for the whole story*) and 3 days of calling around I finally remembered that there is a Wal-mart right down the street from my office. HELLO! So I called they had them in stock, I ran out on my lunch hour (which I hate doing!) and was able to secure a Wii for $150 and even sprung for Mario Kart with the wheel. Now, I still feel that all the games and accessories are a rip off because they rope you in to ongoing spending once you buy the system, BUT I do feel pretty good about the deal I got on the actual system. I guess it balances out.

This is what pure Christmas joy looks like:

Please note Christmas Vacation playing in the background. I think we watched this like 5 times on Christmas day. I love that movie! Some of the best quotes are as follows:

Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.

Eddie: You surprised to see us, Clark?
Clark: Oh, Eddie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now.

I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery.

Clark: Where is Eddie? He usually eats these goddam things.
Cousin Catherine: Not recently, Clark. He read that squirrels were high in cholesterol.

Merry Christmas. Shitter was full.

And my favorite: She falls down a well, her eyes go cross. She gets kicked by a mule. They go back. I don't know.

*My Wal-mart story OR Why Everyone Including Little Baby Jesus Hates Wal-mart:

I fight hellish traffic and pedestrians everywhere to get a spot that's about 3/4 of the parking lot out from the store. I shop. I try not to kill people who in the middle of all the crowdedness just STOP in the middle of an aisle with their carts like they've never shopped in a crowded store before.

I then head back to the Electronics departement only to find out that they had "just" sold out of their Wiis, but will have 10 more in at 8am tomorrow. Perfect.

I finish my grocery shopping and then wait in line for 15 minutes at the express lane where there are people PACKED in around me everywhere. I of course start getting all anxious, and heart poundy, and hot and sweaty. I then had to step out of line to find a bottle of water I could drink while waiting so I didn't pass out.

I finally get to check out and head all the way back out to my car. I load up my groceries, return my car to the corral, and get into my car. As soon as I turn my key in the ignition some idiot starts honking at me because they want my spot. Give me an effin' minute!

I put my car in reverse and look all around - there are people and SUVs and stray children everywhere - as soon as I take my foot off the break some superidiot guy starts screaming and cussing at me to stop. He then starts yelling at me that I was trying to hit him with my car. Where did he come from? Oh yeah, he's the guy parked next to me and even though he must have CLEARLY SEEN that I was trying to back out because someone was waiting for my spot, he didn't want to wait to get into his car so he walked RIGHT behind my reversing car and tried to squeeze into his car at the same time I'm backing out of the spot right next to him.

(&%&39427&(^%%^(*^()*

So, I hit the break again to let him get into his car, he opens his door THEN he stops before getting in and starts yelling at me to "f*cking back out now since I already tried to kill him". Drama much?! I don't know where he learned the rules, but where I'm from, if a car is reversing you wait to get into your car for 30 effing seconds soyoudon'tgetrunover! GAH!

Running over an impatient and rude person averted, I finally back out of my parking spot and off course end up with the poophead behind me where we both get stuck behind a GINORMOUS 70's Caddillac captained by an old lady. She's waiting for a spot and blocking the ENTIRE aisle. She's of course waiting for a spot where they had to load like 6 kids into a van, load up the van, and then ANOTHER person came out of WM to load their purchases into the van also before they finally backed out. Old lady totally waited like 8 minutes while a line of cars formed behind her AND it wasn't even a good spot! And of course, poophead behind me sat there and kept laying on his horn. I guess he was still traumatized from his near death experience. ::eyeroll::

In summary, I didn't get what I originally went there for - BIG surprise! I think I'm emotionally traumatized from my experiences there and therefore, I feel that Little Baby Jesus would also hate Wal-mart because the idiots there suck the Christmas sprit right outta December..

A Few Random Things to Catch You All Up

I've been a bit AWOL lately. We've been busy as always and work is taking a lot out of me lately! I live for the weekends and struggle through the week. No fun, but gotta do it.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving complete with Turkey lunch and dinner with each side of the family.

Bean is growing well and right on schedule. I've gained 5 pounds so far, but I feel like it's been at least 20! I'm into my 3rd Trimester now. I can't believe we have less than 12 weeks 'til D-day!

We have even started on the nursery. So far, we have purchased paint and cleaned out the room, but that's as far as we've gotten. It's a start at least!

At my last appointment I took my gloucose test. It actually ended up being one of the easiest blood draws I've ever experienced, so that was nice. Another plus, the orange drink doesn't taste as bad as everyone says it does. At least it didn't to me. It just tasted like the orange syrup that they flavor icees or "flavor-ice" or whatever they call those things with. It was SUPER sweet and not refreshing at all, but the worst part was downing all that sweetness as quickly as possible! I got my results back on Thursday and my levels were normal.

During the same appointment I also got my H1N1 vaccine - mostly to help everyone else rest easy! - and I even got to get stuck one more time for a Rhogam injection because I have Rh-negative blood and they want to be sure I don't produce any antibodies against my possible Rh-positive baby which can cause problems in any future pregnancies. I'm now to the point where I have to start visiting the doctor every 2 weeks!

Another craft project that I finially finished and which Mark has been bugging me to get done for a while now:

We've been looking for something to go in this spot for a while now, but we couldn't find anything in the color palete we wanted that was a price we liked, so I decided just to do it myself! I'm pretty happy with how they turned out.

Also, fun story... we went out to dinner the other night and I was nearly too big to fit comfortably in the booth! Granted the booth was kind of smaller than I would say normal booths are, but my tummy was definitely right up against the table! We might have to switch to tables til this pregnancy is over!