Friday, January 18, 2013

Pregnancy #2: 40 weeks, 4 days

It's finally happened.  I've hit that magical tipping point of pregnancy where this baby making its exit by any means necessary seems far more appealing than staying pregnant just one more day.  It happened quickly for me because as of last week I was perfectly content, still very much enjoying my pregnancy, and soaking in the last few days I had left until our world was turned upside down by an outside baby.

Welp, that's over with.  I'm ready for the outside baby.  I'm done being pregnant.  I'm tired of being in constant pain.  I'm ready to be able to roll over in bed without having to mentally prepare myself for the task, involving multiple movements to actually accomplish the roll, and ending up with tears in my eyes from the pain associated.  I want to be able to easily get up from the couch and walk around normally and without pain.  I'm tired of worrying about whether breastfeeding is going to be possible this time, I just want to get there and start working on it.  I'm absolutely exhausted by worrying about how and when this baby will arrive and whether she will cooperate with her positioning.  I just want it to happen and be done with it.  I know that I'm going to have a period of recovery, one that will probably longer than originally anticipated, but at least I'll be working towards feeling better rather than just feeling worse and worse.  I'm just so over the whole thing at this point and it's definitely no longer enjoyable.

I feel a little cheated in that I spent this entire pregnancy feeling so hopeful and sure and positive and now in a matter of days I've done a total about face and headed to Negative Town, but I guess it is what it is.  Every day is just so emotionally and physically exhausting right now.  Good thing I know we're nearly at the end one way or another.

Don't worry, no plans to prematurely evict this little one before her time, but I'm sure hoping she decides to make her appearance soon.  We're still doing what we can to encourage her to flip back to a head down position, but every day that passes I'm losing hope that it will actually happen.  All we can do at this point is wait (and worry.  I'm trying not to, but it's really hard given the circumstances).  If we make it to Monday (41 weeks) we'll see what my midwife has to say. 

In other news, in the stand-off of which would be finished first, the blanket or the baby, the blanket won:

Blankets.  Harder to photograph than one would think!  This blanket was crocheted using the Cuddle & Coo pattern from Red Heart.

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