Dim-witted Moment of the Day.

Person calls in at 11.40AM.

Me: What time's your hearing?
Stupid: 11.45 Eastern Standard Time.

Me: Scans Hearings.
We don't have any 11.45s scheduled, are you sure that's when it's scheduled for?
Stupid: Yes.

Me: Okay, what's your docket number?
Stupid: Hold on.
Silence, Silence, Shuffle, Silence
Uhm.... (gives me the docket number)

Me: Looks up case in system.
Well, it looks like your hearing was scheduled for 11.30AM, not 11.45.
Stupid: Pause.
What do you mean?

Me: I mean that you hearing was scheduled to begin at 11.30, not 11.45.
Stupid: (starts getting very angry)
What do you mean!? Is this some sort of Time Zone thing? Are we in different time zones and you're trying to mess me up?!! It's 11.40 right now!

Me: Makes What-the-Hell-?-You-are-effing-crazy-face, which of course, he can't see thank goodness.
No. I'm not trying to mess you up, I'm just letting you know that your hearing was scheduled to begin 10 minutes ago and you are late calling in. If you look at the paper in your hand right now, you'll see that your hearing was scheduled to begin at 11.30AM this morning and you should have called in at 11.15, not 11.40 like you did.
Stupid: *shuffle, shuffle*
Oooohhh, yeaaaaah, it does say 11.30.

Yeah, no shit.

It's not a Time Zone thing, it's a 'you aren't reading' thing.

Dim-witted Moment of the Day.

*sigh*

The rudeness always surprises me somehow.

Stupid: I lost the number that I need to call later this afternoon.
Me: mmmmkay... you mean for your hearing?

Stupid: Yeeeah.
Me: Okay, where are you located?

Stupid: It's for a telephone hearing.
Me: I understand that. Where are you located?

Stupid: Oh. Cincinnati.
Me: (starts reading number to her)

*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*

Stupid: Okay, go 'head.
Me: Excuse me, ma'am, are you pressing buttons in my ear?

Stupid: Well... yeeeeah, I'm putting the number in my phone.
Me: You're going to need to get a pen a write this number down. You can't press buttons in my ear.

Stupid: (pause.) Oh. Okay.

Honestly. As if she had no idea that it's rude to press buttons on the phone in someone's ear. It's amazing to me that people not only act like this, but they don't even realize that it's inappropriate.

I vaccillated between wanting to cuss this woman out, and feeling sorry for her ignorance.

Dim-witted Moment of the Day.

So far, it has been a very trying day on the telephones. Trying not to cuss someone out mostly.

Here's a little gem for ya:

Me: What telephone number would you like to be reached at for your hearing?
Stupid: (provides number)

Me: (reads back number, stupid confirms)

Me: Okay, they will contact you back to begin the hearing.



Silence.



Me: Okay?
Stupid: Okay.



Silence




Stupid: Wait! Ma'am?!?!!!
Me: Yes?

Stupid: I'm on this phone.

I don't know that 'this phone' refers to! Am I psychic or something and I just don't realize it yet?

I finally deciphered that Stupid had provided me with the incorrect telephone number and I'm supposed to understand that he did not follow the written instructions or my verbal reinforcement of said instructions.

This is not that complicated people.

Dim-witted Moment of the Day.

Appellant calls in for a 9AM hearing at 10.15AM.

Me: Good morning (agency name), what time is your hearing?
Stupid: 9AM.

Me: (knowing that it will have already been dismissed)Have you already called in for the hearing?
Stupid: No. I'm calling in right now.

Me: Okay, well the case was dismissed at 9.15AM because you didn't appear for the hearing.
Stupid: But, we're in a different time zone. I'm in Georgia.

Me: ... No you're not. You're calling Ohio, we're in the same time zone.
Stupid: Oh... okay, thank you.

*click*

For serious? This was the employer. You are high enough up in a company that they trust you with these matters and you don't know that Ohio and Georgia are in the same time zone?!! Not to mention, even if we were in different time zones, the hearing would still have been scheduled for 9AM our time.

I had to double check with someone that Ohio and Georgia are in fact in the same time zone because I thought maybe I was forgetting something. I'm not. Employer is just stupid.

Dim-witted Moment of the Day.

::bangs head on desk::

Me: Are you the claimant, or the employer?
Stupid: Wha?

Me: Are you the claimant, or the employer?
Stupid: The plaintiff?

Me: The CLAIMANT, or the EMPLOYER?
Stupid: Employer.

Please keep in mind, this is all clearly listed on all of the previous paperwork this person has received.

Me: Okay, what's the claimant's name?
Stupid: The plaintiff's name?

Me: The claimant's name. What is the claimant's name?
Stupid: (gives name)

Me: ::look up hearing:: Of course it's not for the time that he said it was.
Okay, what company are you with?
Stupid: (states name of company)

Me: Could that be listed under (gives parent company name)?
Stupid: Yes.

Me: (thinking we are actually getting somewhere) Okay, what is your name?

LOUD NOISE!

Stupid: What? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you.
Me: What. is. your. name!?

Stupid: (Says claimant's name again)
Me: (Silence) YOUR name, what is YOUR name?

Stupid: (states claimant's name again)
Me: Is that your name?

Stupid: Yes.
Me: You're the claimant.

Stupid: Yeah, I'm the claimant.

Why, why, whhhhyyyy?! Things could be SO. much. easier!

The next call:

Me: If I could have your name, please.
Stupid: (provides name)

Me: (thinking everything is going swell so far.)
Okay, if I could have your number please.
Stupid: Oh! (pause) I had no idea you were going to ask that! Hold on.

Right, what would give you that indication? Perhaps, the letter that we sent out that had instructions telling you to call the number you just called and give us your TELEPHONE NUMBER?!?!

I'm beginning to think that people intentionally overlook big important things. Like instructions in bold!

LOADS of Asshattery (a.k.a Dim-witted Moment of the Day)

There were so many "moments" today, that I don't even think that I can bring myself to give a full recap.

However, here are a few highlights...

1. Muryha = Mariah.

On what planet?! Why GAWD why do parents do this to their children?

Not only is 'Muryha''s name spelled terribly, she had to struggle to enunciate anything, which made our phone conversation consist mostly of "Fai (I used my super sleuth skills to determine that this means 'five') one, threeee, *mumble, mumble*" *sigh*"I'm sorry, what did you say? You're going to have to repeat that again".

2. I got a call from a lady hours before her hearing was scheduled to begin. I asked, "You do know it's 10.15AM right now?". She replied, "No, I wasn't sure of the time difference".

She's in the same state as I am. It is fairly well known that all of Ohio are within the same time zone. No variations. Not hard.

3. I had someone call in, give me one number, change it at the end of the call because she didn't read instructions to begin with, THEN even though she was already late calling in, after we hang up, she calls BACK! "Oh, I gave you the wrong number, let me get you the correct one."

Okay.

She then proceeds to put me on hold for 2 minutes, with music! This should never happen.

The list could continue, but I'm annoying myself again.

Dim-witted Moment of the Day.

8.20AM Monday morning after the long holiday weekend.

Me: What time is your hearing?
Stupid: 8.30AM.

Me: What's the claimant's name?
Stupid: (states "claimant's" name.)

Me: ::scrolls through 8.30 hearings::
Hmm... I don't see it, do you have the docket number of the case?
Stupid: Let me see.

The individual on the phone now proceeds to shuffle through papers and breathe heavily into my ear (one of my biggest phone pet peeves) for the next 1 1/2 - 2 minutes, which is a very long time for a call that should have taken about 30 seconds.

Me: Do you have the social security number? I can pull it using that.
Stupid: Hmm... *shuffle*shuffle*

More breathing...

Stupid: Oh, here it is!
Me: ::looks up docket number provided::
Wait... this is for (different claimant's name than lady originally provided).

Stupid: Oh! Heheheeeee! Yeah, I guess I was wrong the first time! Heheee.
Me: Well, that's why I was unable to find it on the schedule.

Ugh! If this lady could just do her job and know who's case is being heard then I wouldn't have to log out of what I'm doing, wait forever for her to get the needed info, and look up the case.

This does not please, nor sparkle.

Dim-witted Moment of the Day.

This happened at 9.15AM.

Me: Will you have any witnesses, or representatives today?
Stupid: See, what happened was, I went down here, to the building, I talked to someone when I got the paper, and they said I was going to have a hearing, so I thought it would be here.

Three things: a) clearly, this is not the question I asked, b) the "here" she is referencing is on the other side of the state from where I currently am, and c) of course all instructions are clearly spelled out on the paperwork that she received, which of course, she didn't read, ever.

Me: Okay... any witnesses, or representatives today?
Stupid: Well... how do I get witnesses?

Again, please keep in mind that ALL OF THIS is addressed on the relatively simple paperwork that we sent out, which she most likely "round filed" shortly after receiving!

Me: All you have to do is give me their name and telephone number right now. As long as they are available during the time of your hearing, the hearing officer will contact them to get their testimony.
Stupid: So, I have to have them with me then?

Me: No, if they have testimony to provide, the hearing officer will contact them at the number that you provide for us. Would you like to list anyone?
Stupid: Well see, what happened was, I contacted them and they said just to do this today and then if I still needed the letter then I could have it afterwards.

Me: Ma'am, I don't know who 'they' is, are you talking about your previous employer, or someone at the department?
Stupid: My co-worker.

Me: Oh, okay. If they have something that you would like the hearing officer to know, then you'll need to provide it today. They won't take any documentation after the hearing is completed, and they won't contact anyone for testimony afterwards.
Stupid: Oh... I guess they should participate today then. They will call them on the phone?

Me: Yes. If I could have their names please.
Stupid: (gives me their names and numbers)

Me: Okay, the hearing officer will contact you back at your designated hearing time. In the meantime, you may want to review all the documentation we sent you, and contact your witnesses to make sure that they know the hearing officer will be contacting them this morning.
Stupid: Oh, okay, what documentation?

Me: (gritting teeth) the paperwork we sent you about the hearing.
Stupid: Okay.

Me: The hearing officer will contact you back.
Stupid: Wait, they're going to call me back???

Me: Yes! To do the hearing.
Stupid: What time?

Me: (gives hearing time)
Stupid: Oh, alright then.

@#$@!@#!12@!#@!#!!!!!

READ PEOPLE, REEEEAD!!!!!!!

More Stupidity -

This happened around 11AM.

Me: Good Morning, (agency name). What time is your hearing?
Stupid: Uh, 8 o' clock.

Me: As in 8AM this morning?
Stupid: Yeah.

Me: Well, it's 11 o' clock right now... have you already called in for your hearing?

Please, keep in mind, parties are supposed to call 15 minutes PRIOR to their hearings, and his hearing should have been completed at this point because the majority of them are scheduled for 45 minutes.

Stupid: What do you mean?

Me: Have you already called in today to participate in the hearing?
Stupid: (silence) Yeeees. (said slowly)

I look up his case.

Me: Sir, no, you did not call in for your hearing this morning. Your case was dismissed at 8.15AM because you failed to appear.
Stupid: What do you mean?

Me: I mean that your appeal is no longer going to be heard, and there will not be a hearing today. (I then go on to explain the appeals process for dismissals)
Stupid: But... I thought they were going to call me, they aren't going to call me?

Me: No. All of the instructions as to what you should have done to appear for your hearing were on the ONE PAGE sheet of info where you got this number from.
Stupid: Oh, okay. (said like he doesn't even care)

*click*

He hung up! Stupid!

Dim-witted Moment of the Day.

Just shy of 9AM. Too early for this sort of thing.

Me: Are you the claimant, or the employer?
Stupid: Uhm... uh... uh... Employer!
::thinking in my head, of course she's the claimant::
Oh, wait, NO! Claimant! Claimant! Claimant!
I used to work there!
*giggles*

Me: ::internal sigh::

I then proceed to get her info.

Me: Do you have any witnesses?
Stupid: Yeah.

Me: If I could have their name please.
Stupid: Oh... okaaaay... *shuffle*shuffle*
Uhm... let's see here...
Okay, (gives 1st witness's name - it's a difficult one).

Me: Can you spell the last name please?
Stupid: No. (silence)

Me: Okay... how about (offers suggestion because it's really hard to decipher what a name even really sounds like over the phone if it's a difficult one).
Stupid: Okay, sounds good to me.

Me: Any others?
Stupid: Yes. *shuffle*shuffle* (Gives really difficult African sounding name)

Me: Okay, I'm going to need you to spell that one for me.
Stupid: Uhm... oooh... I really don't know... let me see here... (starts sounding it out). Uh, I guess I would just spell it, like, you know, knock on the door?

The name that she provided sounds like "E-knock".

Me: Uh, okay. You want me to put it down as E-k-n-o-c-k?
Stupid: I guess, that sounds about right.

Me: Okay then.

I don't think that that's most likely how he spells his name, but whatever.

Dim-witted Moment of the Day.

This didn't occur til near the end of the morning, so I suppose it's not quite as bad as other days.

Me: Are you the claimant, or the employer?
Stupid: Yes.

Me: Are you the claimant, or the employer?
Stupid: Yes.

Me: Sir, are you the claimant, or are you the employer?
Stupid: Oooh, oh, the employee.

Me: Okay, you're the claimant. What is your name?
Stupid: Gives name.

Me: What telephone number would you like to be reached at?
Stupid: Oh, I don't have a number. Do you need to call me back?

**sidenote: this is all clearly addressed in all of the paperwork that we send out. They actually have to sort through the important info that they aren't reading to even find the number to call me at.

Me: Yes, if you would like to participate in the hearing, you will need to be called back. This is all clearly stated on the paperwork that we sent you.
Stupid: Well, what if I call you back in 15 minutes (the scheduled start time of the hearing)?

Me: You would still need to provide us with a number that you are at that accepts incoming phone calls.
Stupid: Well, I'm at a friends house. I'm going to need to get the number. Can you hold a minute?

**Again, this is all clearly addressed in paperwork that you need to have this ready to go.

Me: No. I have other people who are waiting that need to be entered for their hearings. Is it the number that's showing up on the caller ID?
Stupid: I dunno. I would assume so.

Me: ::enters number::
Okay, they will call you back to start the hearing.
Stupid: What time?

AT YOU SCHEDULED TIME YOU BUTTHEAD! AND READ YOUR PAPERWORK WHILE YOU ARE WAITING!!!!!

Okay, that's what I wanted to say, but I didn't, to my credit, instead I answered a more polite way, something that had a similar notion.

Today was a trying day.

Dim-witted Moment of the Day.

Awarded at 9.45AM.

Me: Good Morning, (agency name). What time is your hearing?
Stupid: (shuffle, shuffle, shuffle. TV blaring in the background. Kids crying)

Me: What time is your hearing?
Stupid: Hello?!

Me: Sir, do you have a hearing today?
Stupid: My name is (state's his name).

Me: Are you calling in for a hearing?
Stupid: Uh... yeah... I think so.

Me: What time is it scheduled for?
Stupid: Uhhhh... (shuffle, shuffle)...

Me: Is it scheduled for today?
Stupid: Uh, yeah, I think so.

(calls start backing up in the queue because a 30 second conversation has already stretched into a minute)

Me: Do you know the time of the hearing?
Stupid: It's sometime this morning, I think.

Me: (Gritting teeth, trying not to yell at this person)
Do you have the paper with you?
Stupid: Oh... yeah... it says here it's scheduled for 9.45AM.

The he gives me his number without area code like we're psychic and don't serve the entire state.

Argh! Like. Pulling. Teeth!

I can't believe how many mintues of my life are wasted dealing with people who are so dense. I have come to the conclusion that rather than people wanting to be prepared and help themselves, they would much rather appear ignorant and pretend that they don't understand hoping that you will be there to hold their hand. This stuff is not that hard to understand AT ALL!

Dim-witted Moment of the Day.

And the award is presented at 9.15AM Monday morning.

Me: Are you the claimant, or the employer?
Stupid: Employer.

Me: Okay, what company are you with?
Stupid: (states company name in question)

Me: What is the claimant's name?
Stupid: (states claimant's name)

Me: Okay, what is your name?
Stupid: (re-states claimant's name)

Me: No, I'm sorry, what is your name?
Stupid: (re-states claimant's name, again)

Me: ...are you Mr. (claimant's last name)?
Stupid: Yes.

Me: ...uhm... you aren't an employer. You're the claimant in question.
Stupid: (said with unnecessary attitude) Uh, exactly. *sigh*

For the record, all of this information is very clearly stated on all of the paperwork sent out to interested parties. Also, it's pretty simple to understand whether you are an employer, an owner of a company, someone who pays OTHER people, the boss, vs. not that person. By default this should be an easy thing to figure out.

Dim-witted Moment of the Day.

While honing my Trophy Wife skills, during the day, I'm a civil servant. I am the lucky answerer of incoming calls at a State Agency. Yeah, it's loads of fun.

There are lots of stupid people in the world, people who can't seem to help themselves on a daily basis, this moment wins the Dumb Award for the day and it's only 8.53AM.

Incoming call at 8.45AM
Me: What time is your hearing?
Stupid: Well, I'm supposed to call 15 minutes before, so 8.30.

Me: Do you mean 9.00? It's 8.45 right now.
Stupid: No, it's scheduled for 8.30.

Me: ::looks up Stupid's name under 8.30 hearings::
Nope, nothing here, are you sure it was supposed to be for 8.30?
Stupid: Yes, the paper said to call in 15 minutes before the hearing, it's scheduled for 8.30AM, so I'm calling at 8.45. (said with attitude)

Me: ::scrolls through morning hearing schedule::
Ma'am, it looks like your hearing is scheduled for 8.45AM (at this point, it was about 8.46)
Stupid: Oh, well, what should I do, should I call back in at 9.00?

Me: No, you're supposed to call in 15 minutes BEFORE the hearing, that would mean that you were supposed to call it at 8.30.
Stupid: Oh, sorry.

She didn't sound sorry at all, what she should have apologized for was wasting precious moments of my life with her stupidity.

What I actually wanted to say: NO! YOU'RE STUPID! GO AWAY!

::Shakes Head::