This happened at 9.15AM.
Me: Will you have any witnesses, or representatives today?
Stupid: See, what happened was, I went down here, to the building, I talked to someone when I got the paper, and they said I was going to have a hearing, so I thought it would be here.
Three things: a) clearly, this is not the question I asked, b) the "here" she is referencing is on the other side of the state from where I currently am, and c) of course all instructions are clearly spelled out on the paperwork that she received, which of course, she didn't read, ever.
Me: Okay... any witnesses, or representatives today?
Stupid: Well... how do I get witnesses?
Again, please keep in mind that ALL OF THIS is addressed on the relatively simple paperwork that we sent out, which she most likely "round filed" shortly after receiving!
Me: All you have to do is give me their name and telephone number right now. As long as they are available during the time of your hearing, the hearing officer will contact them to get their testimony.
Stupid: So, I have to have them with me then?
Me: No, if they have testimony to provide, the hearing officer will contact them at the number that you provide for us. Would you like to list anyone?
Stupid: Well see, what happened was, I contacted them and they said just to do this today and then if I still needed the letter then I could have it afterwards.
Me: Ma'am, I don't know who 'they' is, are you talking about your previous employer, or someone at the department?
Stupid: My co-worker.
Me: Oh, okay. If they have something that you would like the hearing officer to know, then you'll need to provide it today. They won't take any documentation after the hearing is completed, and they won't contact anyone for testimony afterwards.
Stupid: Oh... I guess they should participate today then. They will call them on the phone?
Me: Yes. If I could have their names please.
Stupid: (gives me their names and numbers)
Me: Okay, the hearing officer will contact you back at your designated hearing time. In the meantime, you may want to review all the documentation we sent you, and contact your witnesses to make sure that they know the hearing officer will be contacting them this morning.
Stupid: Oh, okay, what documentation?
Me: (gritting teeth) the paperwork we sent you about the hearing.
Me: The hearing officer will contact you back.
Stupid: Wait, they're going to call me back???
Me: Yes! To do the hearing.
Stupid: What time?
Me: (gives hearing time)
Stupid: Oh, alright then.
READ PEOPLE, REEEEAD!!!!!!!