Reflection

Sometimes I get bitten by the green envy bug.  I think everyone gets a case of jealousy at one time or another and I'm not above it myself.

While I'm typically content, occasionally I wonder why others have more than we do.  Why they drive nicer cars or have bigger houses or seem to be able to spend money on whatever they want.  I wonder how they're in a position to do and have while we're not.

I find myself bemoaning our small house.  Going on and on about just needing a little more space.  A bigger kitchen with more storage.  A larger family room.  A fireplace.  A dining area that is able to accommodate more than just our little family.  And maybe even an extra bathroom with a nice soaking tub.  THEN I'd be content and happy, I say. 

I went so far last night as to nag my husband just to let me KNOCK DOWN A WALL and convert our garage, that's currently used for nothing but storage, into an extended living and dining area.  He patiently explained to me why attacking it with a sledgehammer wouldn't really end up being the best option.  We ended the conversation with sighs of "someday".  And I know that it's true.  Someday in the future we will have a bigger house.  A house with more storage and living space and room to entertain and maybe even a soaking tub for me to sink into at the end of a long day.  But someday isn't here yet.

And in the meantime I need to remind myself that we have what we need.  We are lucky enough to be able to support our family on a single income, which allows me to devote my time to raising our baby.  I need to remind myself that we are in this small house that's just big enough for us because we chose to be.  When we were house hunting and purchasing our home, we did so mindfully with the knowledge that soon enough, I'd probably be leaving my income behind in favor of mommyhood.  And for that choice, I'm thankful.

I need to remember that although we may not have everything we WANT, we certainly have everything we NEED.  And it's a funny thing about want, it never really goes away does it?  There's always something we are wanting for.  Something that we'd like to have, but don't necessarily need and I think that's true at ANY income level.

I need to remember that I'm lucky in having everything I need because there are plenty of people who are out there that don't.  There are plenty of people out there who are jealous of my situation and would LOVE to be able to quit their job to stay home with their baby.  Or own their own house.  Or own not just one car, but three.  Or not only have a fridge filled with food, but also an extra freezer in the garage that holds the overflow that we can't fit inside.

Today, I'm thankful for my life.  For our one income.  For our little house.  And right now, that's enough for me.