Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The Great Vomisode 2010

Our entire household has been battling a cold since last week.  I came down with the nasties last Wednesday and proceeded to barely sleep that night due to congestion.  When I woke up on Thursday morning to feed Jack his morning bottle I discovered that he too had been blessed with a snotty nose.  I'm half awake feeding him a bottle in bed and I'm silently praying that he'll go back to sleep quickly after finishing up the last ounce he had left of the bottle so that I could try to get a bit more sleep before getting up for the day.  Things looked promising. 

That is until he proceeded to projectile vomit the contents of his belly all over the place.  What I have yet to understand is how 5 ounces of liquid going in turns into about a gallon coming back out?  Because Jack did not throw up 5 ounces.  He threw up a bucket of liquid. 

Said projectile vomit went all over him.  All over me.  On 2 comforters.  A blanket.  A flat sheet.  And even managed to soak through the flat sheet to to the fitted sheet and leave a spot on the mattress itself.  It was EVERYWHERE! 

Thank goodness Mark hadn't left for work yet and was able to rescue me and my vomit covered self because nothing is worse that sitting there helplessly covered in vomit with a baby on your lap who is also covered in vomit and not knowing how to move from the spot you are in without creating more of a mess.  YUCK!  And poor Jack... I think this whole vomisode stemmed from the phlemmy nasal congestion he had.  Poor baby. 

After a quick strip and a speed shower with Daddy, Jack was as good as new.  Babies can be messy, but they do clean up remarkably well.  I also managed to clean myself up and eventually the baby was fed and back to sleep.  However, I was left with a mountain of bedding covered in baby vomit.  What to do...? 

I hate washing bedding.  It's so bulky and annoying.  Washing sheets isn't a problem, but I hate hate hate having to wash the rest of the stuff.  There's just no good way to do it other than taking it down to the giant washers and dryers at the laundromat, but seriously, who wants to do that?  So we very inefficiently washed each comforter separately and hung them outside to dry.  They are now fresh and cleaned without too much of a hassle. 

The last item of bedding that needs to be washed is an electric blanket.  Yes, it's 95 degrees outside and I still have an electric blanket on the bed.  I get cold.  Don't judge me.  How the heck do you wash an electric blanket?  The tag specifically says NOT to dry clean.  Surely you can't submerge it in water... right?  Wrong.  According to the care tag, the proper way to wash an electric blanket is to submerge it in soapy water for exactly 2 minutes and then pull it out to dry on low. 


Now how is this task going to be accomplished neatly?  Because I'm fairly certain that I'm not going to be able to submerge the blanket into soapy water and scrub the vomit out in exactly 2 minutes just to then pull the sopping, wet mess out of the water and transfer it to the dryer.  It'll drip everywhere and be completely saturated with water!  *sigh* Someone did not think out the whole process very well. 

I'm honestly considering shoving the blanket into the depths of a closet and doing my best to just forget about the whole mess.  Never to be heard from again. 

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